Comedy

Anonymous Hacks Syrian President's Email. The Password: '12345'

MASHABLE.COM - Syrian President Bashar al-Assad has been under fire from world leaders to step down this week. He’s also under fire from hacktivist group Anonymous, who leaked hundreds of his office’s emails on Monday.While Anonymous is infamous for its…

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7th Feb, 2012

Iran Worried U.S. Might Be Building 8,500th Nuclear Weapon | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

THEONION.COM - TEHRAN—Amidst mounting geopolitical tensions, Iranian officials said Wednesday they were increasingly concerned about the United States of America's uranium-enrichment program, fearing the Western nation may soon be capable of producing its…

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9th Feb, 2012
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Study Reveals Majority Of Suicides Occur While Trying To Put Fitted Sheet On Bed | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

THEONION.COM - BALTIMORE—According to a study published Monday in Psychological Bulletin, more than 83 percent of suicides take place when an individual is faced with the task of putting a fitted sheet onto a mattress.

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8th Feb, 2012

Report: Watching Episode of 'Downton Abbey' Counts As Reading Book | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

THEONION.COM - WASHINGTON—According to a report from the U.S. Department of Education released Thursday, watching a single episode of the British TV series Downton Abbey is the cultural and educational equivalent of reading an entire book.

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7th Feb, 2012

Eli Manning Asks Dad If He Can Stop Playing Football Now | The Onion - America's Finest News Source | Onion News Network

THEONION.COM - Archie says no to Eli quitting after SB win. Sounds like my dad when I ask him if he watched my show. #OnionGOOMF

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6th Feb, 2012

In The Know Panel Analyzes Obama's Furious, Profanity-Filled Rant At Nation | The Onion - America's Finest News Source | Onion News Network

THEONION.COM - RT @TheOnion: In The Know Panel Analyzes Obama's Furious, Profanity-Filled Rant At Nation #OnionNewsNetwork

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7th Feb, 2012

Intelligent, Condescending Life Discovered In Distant Galaxy | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

THEONION.COM - HOUSTON—Marking a momentous leap forward in humankind's understanding of the universe, NASA scientists announced today they had received a radio transmission confirming the existence of intelligent, extremely condescending life in a galaxy nearly…

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6th Feb, 2012

Peyton Manning Congratulates Brother Eli: 'This Has Been The Worst Year Of My Life' | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

THEONION.COM - INDIANAPOLIS—Mere minutes after Super Bowl XLVI MVP Eli Manning hoisted the Lombardi Trophy on Sunday, he was congratulated in the locker room by his older brother, injury-ridden four-time NFL MVP Peyton, whose sadness at missing an entire season…

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10th Feb, 2012

Poll Finds Majority Of Americans Would Like Things To Go Right For Once | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

THEONION.COM - UTICA, NY—A poll released Tuesday by Zogby International found that 72 percent of Americans would prefer it if things could go right, just this one time, without something inevitably coming along and screwing everything up.

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10th Feb, 2012

Eli Manning: 'My Mom And Dad Are Taking Me To Disney World!' | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

THEONION.COM - Eli Manning: 'My Mom And Dad Are Taking Me To Disney World!'

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10th Feb, 2012

Health Department Still Not Able To Really Prove Why People Shouldn't Be Eating Candles | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

THEONION.COM - WASHINGTON—Department of Health and Human Services officials held a press conference Monday to announce that while no studies had been conducted to establish that the practice is unhealthy, people still should not eat candles.

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6th Feb, 2012

Meet The Man Inside The Nicolas Cage Costume | The Onion - America's Finest News Source | Onion News Network

THEONION.COM - Meet The Man Inside The Nicolas Cage Costume #OnionStarFix

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8th Feb, 2012

Why Are We Deleting Our Facebook Accounts? | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

THEONION.COM - The Onion - Statshot: Why Are We Deleting Our Facebook Accounts?

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10th Feb, 2012

Cartoon Network Celebrates Brak History Month | The Onion - America's Finest News Source | Onion News Network

THEONION.COM - RT @TheOnion: Cartoon Network Celebrates Brak History Month #OnionReview

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7th Feb, 2012
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